What Is Existential Therapy?

Existential therapy is not a well-defined therapeutic modality or set of techniques but rather a lens through which a therapist views a client’s circumstances. The idea behind this approach is that a client’s mental wellbeing depends on his or her ability to cope with fundamental problems of the human condition, such as mortality, isolation, the search for meaning, and responsibility for one’s choices in life. Sometimes, such problems are referred to as ultimate concerns.

Ultimate Concerns

Mental wellbeing depends on how we cope with the realities of being human.

Mortality

We know life is finite.

Isolation

No one can fully live our experience for us.

Meaning

We must create purpose beyond survival.

Choice & Agency

Our decisions shape life, even when outcomes are uncertain.

We are all mortal and are aware of this fact. We are all unique and therefore can never be completely understood by others. We are not beholden to our natural drives and have to search for meaning beyond the biological imperatives of survival and procreation. Finally, life presents us with the need to make fateful decisions that come at a steep cost and whose consequences cannot be fully anticipated. Every cognitively mature person will have to deal with the existential problems listed above in one of three ways: avoid them, outsource them, or confront them.

Avoidance means that a person chooses, consciously or subconsciously, not to think about ultimate concerns by means of distraction. Modern life certainly offers many avenues for that: from social media and streaming services to drugs and incessant fixation on political activism.

Outsourcing existential problems means accepting ready-made answers provided by religion and quasi-religious philosophies. You may have noticed that the more secular a society becomes, the more its members embrace the kinds of distractions mentioned in the previous paragraph. When people lose the option to outsource thinking about ultimate concerns, they often opt to ignore them altogether.

Confronting existential problems is the most challenging but arguably the most rewarding way of dealing with them. It means that a person accepts their inevitability but at the same time doesn’t allow them to define the entirety of his or her existence. On the contrary, the awareness of one’s mortality leads to a greater appreciation for life; the recognition of one’s existential solitude leads to treasuring authentic human contact; the refusal to unquestioningly adopt a religious understanding of life’s meaning leads to the pursuit of unique individual goals; and the hitherto daunting task of bearing full responsibility for one’s own choices leads to sincere respect and an appreciation for one’s authentic self.

Dealing with Ultimate Concerns

Three responses: avoid, outsource, or confront.

Avoid

Distract yourself.

Examples: social media, streaming, drugs.

Outsource

Adopt ready-made answers.

Examples: religion, ideologies.

Confront

Face ultimate concerns directly.

Hardest, but most rewarding.

When a person’s method of dealing with ultimate concerns fails, psychopathology arises. If that happens, he or she may search for another distraction, join a church, or start therapy. It is important to remember that confronting existential problems always entails a certain amount of anxiety. The only way to escape it is through avoidance or outsourcing. However, such escapism means inauthenticity. To lead an authentic life, one must take full responsibility for it. Responsibility, in turn, cannot be completely free of anxiety.